The series that took me two days, a restless night, on-screen crying and way too much coffee.

Jon Bon Jovi is currently visiting the UK and giving interview after interview for British radio and TV.
I expect, without bursting into tears.

This is my longest video series to date, and I actually already shot three of these videos yesterday.
Working until midnight.

And after going to bed, guess what?
I GOT BACK UP!
In the middle of the night, I deleted everything from YouTube.
and adjusted the previous blog post, taking out a coaching offer.

Everything had suddenly felt SO wrong.
Afterwards I slept like a baby.

So what had happened?

Well, after a tumultuous Tuesday, I had sat down and broke down everything I had learned and decided I was going to turn up the heat.
I spent hours filming, redoing, uploading.
But the reason I found myself jumping out of bed and frantically taking down EVERYTHING I had created, is because sometimes topics are so hard, that you are not satisfied with how they come out initially.

That the truth is there, but the “Story” is not. Not yet.

So I started from scratch and redid all my work today, and yes.
They’re spot on now.
Still uncomfortably honest, and I may go out the moment I post them, to get my mind off them-
but this is the way they’re supposed to be.

~ Suzanne

Here they are: 4 different videos with Bon Jovi titles. And moving through the decades, like we always do.

1/4 7800° Fahrenheit (title album 1985)

On finding out I had been playing small creating yoga videos (!!)
And had also left way too much space for playing small after a social hiccup.

What we can all learn from this 2nd album from Bon Jovi, which was a do or die moment in their career, is that if you meet resistance or if things don’t feel right, the answer is never to play it safe and play small;
B
ut to turn up the heat, and go bolder and bigger.

2/4 The Fire Inside (from 100.000.000 Bon Jovi fans can’t be wrong, and dated to the 90s)

The Fire Inside is from 5 disk set “100.000.000 Bon Jovi fans can’t be wrong”
and was dated back to the 90s.
The song is about creative passion.

This video is on how I had marginalized my purpose work (the fire inside) to being this thing I was going to PLAN OUT (??!!)
at taking place in 1 hour and 45 minutes on weeknights.

Remembering Freddie Mercury in the movie Bohemian Rhapsody, when he is told off for being late:
“I’m a performer, darling,
not a Swiss train conductor.”

Ending by looking forward (although that might not be the appropriate choice of words here!) to the third video, and how it was already quit the ordeal yesterday.

3/4 Story of My Life (bonus track on Have a Nice Day, 2005)

The story about why I quit teaching yoga, that I never told…..

4/4 I’m Your Man (Burning Bridges, 2015)

Oh, the biggie.
This week I discovered something about my sexuality, that ran a lot deeper than anecdotal events and stories which I may or may not have shared.
I discovered the one major thing, that will always make my sexuality threatening to others.

~Suzanne

Subscribe to YouTube for the Rock Star Yoga Bon Jovi Series 
AND new yoga videos coming up!
(because in video 1/4 you’ll see me realizing I had been playing small there too)

Are you Dutch?
Will soon kickstart my new Dutch Yoga channel!

~Suzanne

Rock Star Yoga on Facebook
my personal Twitter account

7800 Fahrenheit: Let’s turn up the heat!

Oh my…. You know that expression:
“God whispers. But if you don’t listen he’ll throw bricks at you.”
?
.
Good news is: It ain’t bricks.
Yet.
I m finally understanding things, before God sends me to the ER.
.
But it sure as hell were EXTREMELY CLEAR messages!
.
And they will have an enormous impact on what I ve been doing here (or: not doing…. (yes God, I get it)) with Rock Star Yoga.
..
So, fasten your seat belts, as I will turn up the heat, starting tonight by filming as many new vids as I can, containing all these new insights which – of course- do not just mean, that I have been playing small.
Denying myself.
PLANNING SHIT THAT CANNOT BE PLANNED.
.
And basically tried to marginalize my very own existence in order to avoid being seen.
.
But… that in all likeliness…maybe…. so have you?
Maybe we’ve both been hiding the rock star within, in order to play small and get by without being noticed?
.
So for me, the breakthrough came today. It’s a long story, but I ll tell it in a juicy way. Before God starts throwing bricks after all, for being a total bore.
But – as sort of an elaboration – I do think it all started this weekend, already.
When I learned to drink whiskey (video: Live before you die) and learned the hard way, by almost suffocating myself, that planning my life literally takes my breath away.
(video: God Bless This Mess)
.
You can watch both at my channel:
.
And witness the first two Aha-moments, of what would become a big breakthrough 48 hours later.
Before I finally started rocking it.
.
Our new videos will be posted to YouTube on Wednesday February 26;
.
~Suzanne
.

PS:
I originally added an offer here, but I have decided to pull it back including all the videos I filmed after a major breakthrough!
Tomorrow, I will create new videos, including one where I share why I decided to never again become commercially active.
And why offering my services as a teacher or coach, or even speaker, would actually block what I can do for you way quicker, for free. 

~Suzanne

Rock Star Yoga on Facebook
my personal Twitter account

 

Wildflower: The reinvention of Rock Star Yoga

about the video: “Wildflower” is on the Have a Nice Day album (2005) and it was performed live, only twice. This is one of them.
.

Five days ago I posted a photo on Facebook.
A rose.
And I wrote an honest, spontaneous message, that uplifted me, yet confronted me with a brutal truth:
How not uplifting my posts had recently been.

That the fear of not having enough time to write these lengthy posts (I have five blogs), had made me way too eager to focus on YouTube, and limit this Rock Star Yoga blog to transcripts of that.
And I must say, these stories held up remarkably well, after being written out from video to blog.
But I didn’t even blog the last ones. I made the drafts, but then I saved them, and never finished them.

After Monday’s rose post, I felt the tables had turned!
And on Wednesday and Thursday I LEAPED, at the YouTube channel!

I created two stories in my Bon Jovi series, and I started teaching real yoga there as well! 
So if you subscribe to YouTube, you can still follow the original Rock Star Yoga Bon Jovi series, and the new online classes.

But today (Friday) it was almost as if I had to pay for it..

Now I am not telling the whole story, if I say that today’s meltdown was all caused by a backlash from my work for YouTube.
In fact it wasn’t caused by that at all.
It’s just that I do see a pattern, that whenever I m completely in the zone of doing what I love, I tend to sabotage myself. Or seem overly susceptible to old fears haunting me.
Not in exactly the same way, as they have been doing since I was 15.
That would not work, because ultimately I ve always been able to debunk them. 
But they’re masters at shape shifting, and always come up with something new and inventive, that – at least initially – looks as a Real Fear I Should Into.
Pro tip: 
It may be a real fear, but that doesn’t make it a real threat.

Since last year my fear dresses up as a very particular social fear, and I m not even going tell fear of what, because I have very bad experiences with that.
Ever since my first anxiety attacks, I ve learned that fear is contagious.
If I tell people I have “anxiety” or are “phobic”; they are very understanding.

But as soon as I tell them what it is I fear, they immediately become scared themselves and tell me it’s “good to be careful” and “not everybody has to know.”
In other words, I m actually confirmed in my fear.
I think this is a particular burden to bear for people with social anxiety. I m sure it doesn’t happen if you have a fear of spiders.
But that’s why I m not sharing the specifics.
Just that it hit me hard today, and that it was a difficult day because of it. I had been looking forward to staying productive, and instead something had happened and fear hit me in the head.
It’s very late on a Friday night, and it’s just now that I remember that I was originally so looking for to today; To writing for this Rock Star Yoga blog.
And to announce how I’m totally revamping it, to being a fun, lighthearted, NON SCRIPTED blog!
Ha ha ha!
So either way, although I felt a bit conscious, of rebooting something that is so important to me, on a day where I feel I ve been hit by many demons from the past. Knocked straight on the head! And slapped on the face!
And maybe received a good spanking too!
Although that would have taken the sharpest edges off, I guess 😉

I did feel a bit uncertain to have the audacity to just get back into the saddle, stick to the plan, and say:
“Hey! We’re upleveling this blog, and it’s gonna be so cool!”
The day had not been perfect, and although I was starting to recover from my anxiety, I wasn’t light and bright. And I probably still had demonic residue  stuck to my new curly hair.
(I also had a great haircut, which you can see on YouTube)

Yet, I made a decision that getting back into the saddle and sticking to the plan, was exactly what I was going to do.

So here’s the deal: 
This is the Rock Star Yoga blog, and it was founded in 2019, to share all the things that Yoga Does Not Tell You.
All the stuff that really doubles or quadruples your energy.
All the fears, and the pain, and the seemingly-not-important-enough irritations with life itself, that are actually holding you back from everything you are meant to be doing, everything you can be, do, have. Holding you back from your purpose, from adventure, from creating a full-blown life you love.
THAT’S Rock Star Yoga.
Originally Rock Star Yoga were these blogposts, combined with YouTube videos (which I had to take down because YouTube unedited my videos) and then for a while it were just transcripts from my new YouTube series.
But what I m going to do is:
Refresh.
Rip the band aid.
Speak from the heart.
Look all those uncomfortable fears into the eye, whenever they come back to haunt me – and they do so particularly when I m going off the path and start to flow with life. And I m going to encourage you to do the same.
Ignore them, let them be, and start moving the needle on your life.

I invite you to follow this blog.
Not to be soothed by a done-for-you formula where you know what to expect. Just like life, there’s no telling what to expect, and what will be shared here!

But I promise this blog will be more bouncy and honest than ever, and it will give you that jump of the heart, or maybe even gut, of feeling alive.
Being surprised.
Challenged.
Unleashed.

And wild.

~Suzanne

Rock Star Yoga YouTube
Rock Star Yoga on Facebook
my personal Twitter account

Rock Your Yoga

Rock Star Yoga is based on principles of being your own teacher, raising your energy, using your body as your instrument, and full creative freedom in your practice.

If you would like to practice with a teacher first, you can subscribe to my YouTube, where I will be creating a new database,
or check these recommended resources:

Yoga with Adriene
https://www.youtube.com/user/yogawithadriene

Yoga with Bird
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxYVPua6HC46HzgT8IIn3vg

Yoga with Kassandra
https://www.youtube.com/user/yogawithkassandra

Rebel Yoga Nederlands:
https://www.rebelyoga.nl/

Love Song | Private Yoga Series

Creative juices are flowing again!
And trust me when I say I tried to stop them, because of time consuming, not my core thing, yada yada, but –
When has that ever worked?
Even worse; In all fairness, would I really want my creativity to actually stop because it’s not convenient?
Of course not.

One of the core principles of Rock Star Yoga, is that instead of blindly going into your yoga every day, do what raises your energy.
Do what gives you flow.
So in my case, this was creating new yoga schedules.

During my time as a yoga teacher, I always wrote all my lessons out as schedules, but since I m not a yoga teacher anymore I stopped doing that.
And I ve got plenty of schedules to practice for myself, so why bother?
Even more so, I prefer an improvised practice myself, without a schedule.
However, I forgot that I just really, really like creating yoga schedules!

What I typically do is watch yoga videos on YouTube, and just rewrite all the exercises in a different order.
For today I used videos from Yoga with Bird.
I have added her to the list of YouTube channels below/ at the bottom of every post, so that you can practice with her videos if you like.

The schedule contains minimal instructions, so it may not be suitable for everyone. Scroll down to find YouTube sources for a guided practice, and a safe and accessible way to get started.

I really believe that ideally, yoga doesn’t come from outside of you, it comes from within.
This is why I don’t bother with too much instructions on the schedules, and why this schedule is “just” meant as inspiration for those who already have an idea what yoga is.

I will be bundling all yoga schedules at some point, and create a book.
But for now they will be published online here, as we go.

I will start with the easy/ lunar/ beginner practices and gradually work up to more difficult ones.

Enjoy.
And rock on.

~Suzanne

yoga schedule: Love Song

Beginner friendly, restorative, lunar yoga
Yogic breathing: Inhale belly expands, exhale belly releases

New schedules will be published on this blog, along with all Rock Star Yoga philosophy videos.
The subscription button is somewhere on this page, probably on the right.

Other ways to rock it with me:
Rock Star Yoga YouTube (earliest access)
Rock Star Yoga on Facebook
my personal Twitter account

Rock Your Yoga

Rock Star Yoga is based on principles of being your own teacher, raising your energy, using your body as your instrument, and full creative freedom in your practice.

If you would like to practice with a teacher first, here are my recommended resources:

Yoga with Adriene
https://www.youtube.com/user/yogawithadriene

Yoga with Bird
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxYVPua6HC46HzgT8IIn3vg

Yoga with Kassandra
https://www.youtube.com/user/yogawithkassandra

Rebel Yoga Nederlands:
https://www.rebelyoga.nl/

#3 Crush | Rock Star Yoga Bon Jovi Series

We’re at the zero’s!
2000-2009 *)

And when selecting a title for this video, I thought:
“It has to be something that honors the productivity and success of the band in this era,
as well as the ultimate price they would pay for it.”

Bon Jovi created 5 studio albums in this decade, plus a 4-5 disc box set “100,000,000 Bon Jovi Fans Can’t be Wrong”, one live album One Wild Night, and a reinterpretation of their songs “This Left Feels Right”.
So they left an amazing body of work for this decade.
But it was also the decade Bon Jovi’s guitarist Richie Sambora would start to drift away from the band.

click to see video

In English “crush” means to be good at something, “to crush it”. Like crushing an exam.
But crush also means to destroy something with pressure. Like crushing something with your weight, or crushing something in your fist.
So the title Crush from the first album of the decade, already has everything in it.

Both the success: They would crush it, in that decade.
As well as the price they would pay because ultimately, a part of the band got crushed or Richie Sambora got crushed, under the wheels of the rolling train.
That kept on going.

I think there is a big lesson to learn, from this decade.
That in life, or even on your yoga mat, the best way to do things is not to do them for a certain outcome, but because it’s what you need to do.
It’s what you came here to do.

And not only are you not doing it to get a certain outcome;
You re willing to accept ANY outcome.
Even the worst. Even the biggest price you would have to pay.

Anything you can do with that kind of purity and intensity and authenticity, is amazing.
You will never ever regret that.

For yoga, which is of course a very small example of this, but for yoga this means letting go of the idea that your practice is going to bring you health or balance but to do the yoga in the moment and do what you need to do or want to do.
Regardless of the outcome.

A comparison I like to make is that Jesus died for his message, died for his purpose work.
I ve always believed that is an inspiring example because it shows you it is really not an option to not do it. Ultimately you have got to do it regardless of the outcome, and even accepting the worst outcome possible.

I think the zeros, the decade, was for Bon Jovi an example of that same principle.
They did what they had to do. They did what they came here to do.
It was purposeful and they had to accept the ultimate price.

We will return to this decade many times in this series.
But this is for me what characterizes this decade.
It’s the huge success that came at incredible cost.

~Suzanne

*) YOUTUBE UPDATE  

There has been a fail in YouTube editor, which at that moment “unlocked” the unedited versions of 5 years of YouTube.
That’s why I took all my videos down, except the videos from this new series.

[text continues below video]

My new Rock Star Yoga project means
one wisdom/ lesson/takeaway from every Bon Jovi song known to man.
To receive new episodes in your email,
subscribe to this blog.
The button is somewhere on this page,
probably on the right.

Other ways to rock it with me:
Rock Star Yoga YouTube (earliest access)
Rock Star Yoga on Facebook
my personal Twitter account

All songs from the Crush album, will be reviewed individually along this series with help of
https://bjtours.jimdofree.com/the-albums/2000-crush/
Thank you guys for this amazing fan site, it is priceless.

help wanted:
Does anyone know what this mysterious XL version of the These Days album is?
It seems to be for the Spanish speaking market.

Rock Your Yoga

Rock Star Yoga is based on principles of being your own teacher, raising your energy, using your body as your instrument, and full creative freedom in your practice.

If you would like to practice with a teacher first, here are my recommended resources:

Yoga with Adriene
https://www.youtube.com/user/yogawithadriene

Yoga with Kassandra
https://www.youtube.com/user/yogawithkassandra

Rebel Yoga Nederlands:
https://www.rebelyoga.nl/

We need to talk about Katrina Ruth. What about now?

I knew we’d one day need to talk about the amazing Katrina Ruth
What about now?
Because just as I had planned shooting my “What about now” video on YouTube,
where I would cover how important it is to stay connected to your higher vision NOW so that you can do the work even at times when it’s hard,
exactly how Bon Jovi created their studio album What about now in the midst of struggle,
a question popped up on Katrina Ruth’s page:
Q:
What was it from all of her programs and teachings that had impacted us most?
 
I answered that above all else, it was how she taught us to BE at the level you want to live your life, before you move a finger.
 
That being connected to your highest vision, comes before anything else, and that ultimately THAT is what will get you the results.
 
And if you want to be the first to know how this bold statement has anything to do with living life at rock star level?
 
My next video is “What About Now”.
So?
What about:
You lived your best life, and did what you came here to do,
NOW?
 
~Suzanne
Rock Star Yoga
you weren’t born to follow
.
Daily inspiration from Katrina Ruth:
.
.
website incl free gift

*) YOUTUBE UPDATE  

There has been a fail in YouTube editor, which has “unlocked” the unedited versions of 5 years of content.
This was a blessing in disguise. I see it as YouTube making a management decision to give me a fresh start.
But this did mean I could no longer curate what would stay up and what would not –
and had to
take everything down, except the videos from this new series.

My new Rock Star Yoga project means
one wisdom/ lesson/takeaway from every Bon Jovi song known to man.
To receive new episodes in your email,
subscribe to this blog.
The button is somewhere on this page,
probably on the right.

Other ways to rock it with me:
Rock Star Yoga YouTube (earliest access)
Rock Star Yoga on Facebook
my personal Twitter account

Rock Your Yoga

Rock Star Yoga is based on principles of being your own teacher, raising your energy, using your body as your instrument, and full creative freedom in your practice.

If you would like to practice with a teacher first, here are my recommended resources:

Yoga with Adriene
https://www.youtube.com/user/yogawithadriene

Yoga with Kassandra
https://www.youtube.com/user/yogawithkassandra

Rebel Yoga Nederlands:
https://www.rebelyoga.nl/

#2 Blaze of Glory | Rock Star Yoga Bon Jovi Series

.

Oh my! The gems, the gems! *)
There is SO MUCH to unpack here. But what a treat.

I have to say, no one was more surprised than me that out of all the 90s songs I could have selected for today, I chose this one.
But by now I m convinced it just needs to be.

Blaze of Glory (1990) is the title track from the Jon Bon Jovi album, the soundtack to the movie young Guns 2.

The story behind the album, what Jon Bon Jovi was going through in his life, tells you two powerful lessons:
– braving the wilderness
To stand alone when everybody you counted on has left you.
(title refers to book from Brene Brown)
– and to follow your curiosity
A request from the team of Young Guns 2 to use Wanted Dead or Alive, led to creating a new song, led to creating an entire soundtrack, led to Jon hanging out on set and getting his first taste of acting, and an album which practically outdid the movie it was supporting,
and it established Jon Bon Jovi as a solo artist.

Because Jon Bon Jovi was willing to brave the wilderness and follow his curiosity, he came out stronger and got his band together late 1991.
And in my opinion it was his solo work on Blaze of Glory that sparked what many fans call the best Bon Jovi song ever written, Dry County (1992)

Also memorable:
Jon Bon Jovi gave an interview summer 1990, when he rented a house in Hollywood Hills (which he called Disgraceland) close to the recording studio for the Young Guns 2 album.
HANDS DOWN THE FUNNIEST INTERVIEW HE EVER GAVE
interview Jon Bon Jovi and Julie Brown on “Disgraceland” 1990
part 1
part 2
part 3

Click photo to watch video

Also in this video:
I discovered I have a poster from Jon Bon Jovi from this period!
Take it in for future reference!
Because if at any point in time, I m sighing that I miss “old Jon” or “rough Jon”; This is what I m talking about.
He cut his hair and went for a cleaner look for Keep the Faith (1992), and later on when he became an actor he waxed off his chest hair and it seemed to stay that way for a very long time.
But I ve always preferred leather pants, badass Jon, who camped with his crew in the wilderness for days, without running water, filming his Blaze of Running video

Other links to this video:
video Blaze of Glory (shot in the wilderness)

Santa Fe – live London Arena 2010
Song from his Young Guns solo record,
played live “for the die-est hardest of the die-est hardest fans”

Dry County – live 1995
Best Bon Jovi song ever written (in my opinion) and rarely ever played live

~Suzanne

*) YOUTUBE UPDATE  

There is a fail in YouTube editor, which has “unlocked” the unedited versions of 5 years of YouTube.
I have therefor taken everything down, except the videos from this new series.

My new Rock Star Yoga project means
one wisdom/ lesson/takeaway from every Bon Jovi song known to man.
To receive new episodes in your email,
subscribe to this blog.
The button is somewhere on this page,
probably on the right.

Other ways to rock it with me:
Rock Star Yoga YouTube (earliest access)
Rock Star Yoga on Facebook
my personal Twitter account

[ text continues below video ]

source material:
https://bjtours.jimdofree.com/the-albums/1990-blaze-of-glory-jbj-solo/
Thank you guys for this amazing fan site, it is priceless.

help wanted:
Does anyone know what this mysterious XL version of the These Days album is?
It seems to be for the Spanish speaking market.

Rock Your Yoga

Rock Star Yoga is based on principles of being your own teacher, raising your energy, using your body as your instrument, and full creative freedom in your practice.

If you would like to practice with a teacher first, here are my recommended resources:

Yoga with Adriene
https://www.youtube.com/user/yogawithadriene

Yoga with Kassandra
https://www.youtube.com/user/yogawithkassandra

Rebel Yoga Nederlands:
https://www.rebelyoga.nl/

#1 Get Ready | Rock Star Yoga Bon Jovi Series


Get Ready!
First in my new Rock Star Yoga Series:
A journey through all Bon Jovi songs known to man.

I got ready for this series with 10 hours of work, and I still haven’t figured everything out.
For example I m looking for help with a These Days album I found that doesn’t seem connected.
See links below for details.

But for yoga too:
I prepared for a year before I started!
Mentally playing and adopting the idea of yoga as my own, before I set foot into a yoga class.

If this is you – that you need to fall in love with the idea of something before you move a finger, then this is important information to remember!
Because the entire world, including yoga, seems to be based on experience first.

In Rock Star Yoga, I emphasize that you need to “feel it” or even “know it” before you do it.
Let me rephrase:
Before you ROCK IT.

~Suzanne

Click to Get Ready

My new Rock Star Yoga project
means
one wisdom/ lesson/takeaway from every Bon Jovi song known to man.
To receive new videos in your email,
subscribe to this blog for the next episode.
The button is somewhere on this page,
probably on the right.

Other ways to rock it with me:
Rock Star Yoga YouTube (earliest access)
Rock Star Yoga on Facebook
my personal Twitter account

source material:
https://bjtours.jimdofree.com/the-albums/1984-bon-jovi/
Thank you guys for this amazing fan site, it is priceless.

References in episode 1, Get Ready:

video Bon Jovi – Get Ready (Super Rock Festival 1984)
See bottom post

video Bon Jovi – Full Concert (Lisbon 2011)
Get Ready was played at 28:45

help wanted:
Does anyone know what this mysterious XL version of the These Days album is?
It seems to be for the Spanish speaking market.

Rock Your Yoga

Rock Star Yoga is based on principles of being your own teacher, raising your energy, using your body as your instrument, and full creative freedom in your practice.

If you would like to practice with a teacher first, here are my recommended resources:

Yoga with Adriene
https://www.youtube.com/user/yogawithadriene

Yoga with Kassandra
https://www.youtube.com/user/yogawithkassandra

Rebel Yoga Nederlands:
https://www.rebelyoga.nl/

The End by Bon Jovi sparks my biggest project to date


this video from hAnD90 on YouTube, elevated the song The End from an extremely rare and forgotten Bon Jovi track, to one in our hearts forever. 

Trust me when I say this was meant to be simple.

That my new Rock Star Yoga project, where I would derive one wisdom/ lesson/takeaway from every Bon Jovi song known to man, was not meant to be daunting, and probably excruciatingly long.

Because it was meant to be a light, fun, and Studio-Albums-Only endeavor.

No box sets, no single one-offs, no demos, no solo projects, no live albums or Bon Jovi tours, but especially – especially – no box sets.
Everything that came after “No box sets” was just a distraction, because I was obsessed with NOT including their 2004 4-disc set:
“100.000.000 Bon Jovi Fans can’t be wrong.”
Adding 50 Bon Jovi demos, B-Sides, and versions of songs that did not make it to the (then) eight albums the band had released, was simply not an option.
I d be setting myself up for the proverbial dark ages;
A time in my new Rock Star Yoga series where I was going to cover 50 songs that I didn’t even know, and what I did know I liked, but ultimately forgot.
Every time I had listened to 100.000.000, I thought:
“Hah. This is actually pretty good.”
Only to then stick with their 14 studio albums again, and forget all about it.

So regardless of how many songs and videos my new YouTube series was ultimately going to have:
It would exclude 100.000.000 Bon Jovi fans can’t be wrong.
That much was certain.
100.000.000 Bon Jovi fans were not wrong, but including 50 sub-par songs was.

Which was a decision that bit me in the ass almost immediately.
And this is something  I hear from most creatives – but maybe it goes for everybody?
Every time I say I will definitely never ever do something, thinking from a practical risk versus revenue perspective;
I always end up doing it.
You know why?

Because practical thinking is the most non-aligned, boring, fear-based thing you could possibly imagine. Being practical sucks the life out of everything, but especially out of creativity.

Thankfully, my muse, God or the Universe always slaps me on the wrist almost immediately. And this time it did so firstly, with a slow but painful stab in the gut that there is no such thing as 14 clear-cut, no-nonsense Bon Jovi albums that we all know and love.
Even my cd of their last album, This House is Not for Sale, misses two opening tracks! Two!
What’s that about right?
I looked it up, and they added two new songs for the 2018 reissue of the album.
And I already knew This House is Not For Sale comes in a DeLuxe version with 5 extra songs, but New Jersey too, has a 2 cd version with many extra songs, which was issued in 2008 to commemorate the 20 year anniversary of the album.
My idea of a clean project needed a reality check.
The body of work Bon Jovi had created was a multilayered, complex thing. Cutting it short would mean that I was selling it short.
It was simply a no go.
So (still in denial) I decided I was going to do ALL songs – 
except for the songs from 2008 New Jersey and the box set 100.000.000 fans can’t be wrong.

“What about The End?” Universe asked.
“What about it?” I snapped back, defensive of my still relatively neatly contained Bon Jovi project. 
“Don’t you want to cover that?” Universe asked. “Since you were sooooo moved by it…”
Universe made a sad face as if it was The Joker.

“Or were you not sad, my Love?”

Universe was calling me out, on being moved to tears by the amazing YouTube Channel hAnD90, famous for curating and restoring many rare Bon Jovi recordings both video and audio.
Summer 2019 hAnD90 shook our fan base when a series which he had called “The Final 15” ended with a video where he announced he was retreating from the channel.

And why.
You can read his goodbye letter in the comment from the “The End” video.

We were in shock by his announcement.

Yesterday I made an introduction to the new video series. Click photo to see it.

His final video The End was not just a copy paste to support his statement.
The rare Bon Jovi song had been upgraded with introductions and parting words from Jon Bon Jovi, spoken at live concerts.
The audience roared.
It was a beautiful video from footage from hAnD’s favorite Bon Jovi era;
The mid 90s.

The carefully crafted video about the glory days of the band, combined with the moving song, had me in tears.
hAnD’s parting gift showed why he was an artist in his own right.
That he too, had a voice, a message, a contribution.
The End by hAnD90, was a gem.

“I liked The End,” I admitted to Universe. “It should be in there.”

“Good,” Universe said.
“It is the final song of the fifth cd of 100.000.000 Bon Jovi fans can’t be wrong. That disc is only included in the Japanese version.”

Silently, I added all the titles of 100.000.000 Bon Jovi Fans Can’t Be Wrong to my list. Four cd’s and the fifth cd that was only released in Japan and that ended with The End.

And I knew what to do.

~Suzanne

My new Rock Star Yoga project means one wisdom/ lesson/takeaway from every Bon Jovi song known to man.
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Visit hAnD’s channel too! He’s back!

Here’s another wonderful live video hAnD created:
Get a box of tissues ready before you click.
Trust me.

Happy Now

The first weeks of this year have been straining because they were lonely, yet at the same time highly satisfying.
I would even argue solitude was the only thing that was going to purge my life of everything that was ultimately just clouding my vision, and kept me from seeing what needed to be seen.
And also from everything that was keeping earlier insights from becoming ingrained into my daily life. From becoming part of who I am, to the point where to-do lists are no longer needed of what your daily routines are.
Just like you don’t need to write down you have to brush your teeth.
But like I said:
A massive amount of solitude was needed for that.
If I had not been so sure this intense period was required to change me, I would not have lasted.

There are plenty of things I could have done to come back up to surface noise level, where things could be “done” in order to solve the problems. I could have rebooted my social life, go to museums and expos in other cities. I could have gone looking for work, since I already knew that even when my writing will make me more money that I can spend in a lifetime, I do not want to “be” a writer.
I want a normal job.
It was particularly tempting to make looking for a job a priority, and instead I held the course.
I looked loneliness in the eye, the void where my profession as a yoga teacher had once been, the place where my lover had been, the place where all the friends I had lost along the way had been, and I said:
“Show me what I need to know. Show me what I need to understand. Show me my purpose and my true path.”
It had been twenty years, since the last time I let myself come this close to the cliff and looked down. But regardless of what you learn or see, it is an extremely empowering experience to not run or fix things and just be where you are. On a cliff.
With your eyes open.

Something I would not have to explain to Jon Bon Jovi is how much fun it is to work in an all-male team.

This morning my lessons went from big, abstract principles I had learned this year, into practicalities and priorities.
And I noticed something strange and funny!

The activities “doing yoga” and “working between men” were interchangeable. I only needed one of the two, on a daily basis.
And yoga, was part of a much broader category, of activities that could substitute yoga. Or working between men.

Cleaning my house.
Beautifying/ taking care of my body.
And being with a lover.

Being with a lover is a tricky one. It’s not really fair to put it up there, but I did choose to make it explicit, so that I don’t say No because I think I need to clean my house or do yoga or something.
Maybe I get so busy, my brain gets fried, and then someone special says: “Would you like to meet tonight?” and my fried brain answers: “I really can’t”
Thinking: “I need to do yoga.”
To prevent that, I put “Seeing a Lover” in the yoga/body/house category.

But the reason being with a lover does not count as one activity, is that I do beautify and take care of my body before I would go see him, so it should count as double. Triple if he comes over to my place, and I clean the house.
No wonder seeing a lover made me feel so good.

But I kind of knew why dates with my lover had felt so good, so that wasn’t my big Aha!
No, what struck me as odd after writing out the 7 Major Things, in their correct order, I could rewrite it with a big OR in between two of them.
It was between work (originally at #4) OR yoga/body/house/lover (originally at 6).

My ideal job, where I will stay for the rest of my life, is among men.
And we work in a team creating something together, so it’s not (for instance) like a sales team, where we each have our own client base.
It’s also not a shared work space for creatives, where I work my own business as a writer/ entrepreneur;
Because then we don’t work together.

As I adjusted the list of daily activities, adding a big OR and adding my number 1 which I had forgotten – “Sit with cats”; I let it all sink in, and realized there was another big one, which also didn’t need to get done, as long as I had a great place to work.
I wasn’t 100% sure about this one..
But enough to make the leap.
It was writing.

Not the daily writing of smaller posts, 1 hour blog posts, or reposting something with a new quote, or from a new perspective.
Those are my “breath” and butter and need to get done every day even if the world would stop turning and humanity would cease to exist.
You could not stop me from doing that, even if my life depended on it.
No, I mean writing big stuff.
The four to seven hour stuff.
Like this one.
I realized that too, was an OR thing. Not an AND!

Ultimately my original list of 7 Daily Things to stay happy and on track, had 3 activities or areas of my life, where I only needed one a day.
Either I would work between men.
Or I would take care of my body/yoga/house/see a lover.
Or I would write a blog post for multiple hours.
One out of three, was more than enough.

Daily To-Do List, based on core values and goals 2020

  1. sit with the cats
  2. mindset work: listen to audio/ YouTube/ journal
  3. write small post/ repost social media
  4. track my finances, revenues and expenses
  5. write long post OR work between men OR do yoga/house/body/see lover
  6. (optional) social/ fun/friendships
  7. (optional) publish my books

Creating Peak Experiences

For better or worse, number 1-5 must all get done in order to feel accomplished. There is no way I can cut corners here, it will feel sub-optimal at best.
But most likely it will make me feel terrible.
The last time I remember being absolutely fine not doing 1-5 was when I had a Bon Jovi concert.
These were my days for about four weeks straight, I d say:

1. sit with cats

2. my mindset work was omnipresent but it was all related to Bon Jovi videos, interviews, writing about Bon Jovi, making videos about Bon Jovi and so on

3. I didn’t use my phone or post to social media at the concert itself, but was extremely productive writing and making videos for my pen name accounts. I did not post anything under my real name, since my mind was 100% English speaking and not in tune with my Dutch work (I didn’t have this Rock Star Yoga blog yet)

4. I did not track any finances. It even became the only time I forgot my payments. For weeks before and after the concert I was just not present in my personal finance at all.

5. I wrote many posts about Bon Jovi, all under my pen name

6. Not much social activity and I attended the concert by myself.

7. publishing books? I didn’t even know how many syllables that were

So the weeks around the Bon Jovi concert show what happens to the dailies, when I want a peak experience.
I stuck to the routines that served me, but they were completely colored to Bon Jovi. I dropped the rest. It could have caused problems because I was definitely not paying any attention to anything else.
I risked it.

And we’re 7 months later, and I still think so warmly about that Thursday June 13.
If Bon Jovi comes back (and I expect they will in 2021 or 2022) I will adapt the routine again and take a minimum of two weeks off from work, one week before and one week after, to give myself full experience of it again. 

So although I have now formalized everything I want to do each day, I will not make the mistake of being rigid. I think the value of having such a list, is that it prevents you from unconsciously creating a life that is not in line with your values, or simply with what you need to function as a human being.

It makes it explicit what the cost will be, if you answer to everything and everyone who wants or even needs your attention.
Just knowing you’re at the equivalent of sacrificing a limb, if you throw a Sunday at something which is not in your top 5, is already a big win.
But if Jon Bon Jovi asks you over for tea, all you need to do is give the cats a big cuddle and you’re ready to go.

Never say No to a peak experience.

~Suzanne

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